Wednesday, November 10, 2010

And then there were six.

A new blog.  For a new addition to our family.  A totally unexpected twist in life...a new journey.

It's a God-thing, really.  How could it NOT be?  I had a full hysterectomy in March of this year, and tomorrow night, if all goes as planned with my husband's travel plans, I will be holding a new baby in my arms.  Only God could overcome an obstacle like THAT.  But then, God has a habit of overcoming obstacles.  Or really, He just doesn't SEE them - only we do, I think.  It's sort of like, how if you're on the ground, and you see a mountain, it looks huge - but if you're in an airplane, looking down, everything looks so tiny and flat.  I think that's sort of how life is.  We see such a small part of the big picture, and what we see as obstacles, God just sees as a small part of the big picture.

It's not as though we were PLANNING on expanding our family, even.  We were done.  That's why I had my tubes tied...well, that, and the fact that pregnancy was just too hard on my body.  But really, we were done having children.  Three was enough.  Especially with my neuropathy progressing...we didn't see the need to continue having children.  Apparently, God had other plans - at least for now.  We actually don't know how long Jeremiah will be part of our family, to be honest.  For now, we are not adopting him...we are applying for legal guardianship of him.  It's different, though we won't treat the situation as any different.  He'll be our son, as far as we're concerned.  He'll be loved and treated just as though we WERE adopting him...and one day in the future, it may be that God ordains it such that we DO adopt him.

I know so many people wonder how Jeremiah even came into our lives.  THAT is definitely a God-thing.  Parts of the story aren't mine to share - at least not yet.  I can say that his mother is a former contact of mine, someone I hadn't spoken to in over a decade, but who, when faced with the fact that she knew she could not provide her son with the kind of home and family she wanted for him, made the incredibly self-less choice to make sure that he DID find the kind of home and family she wanted for him.  The fact that she chose ME, after all these years, still amazes me - and that is why I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is a God-thing.  Because I don't DESERVE Jeremiah.  I'm not doing anything special, or extraordinary.  I know people have said, with good intentions, "He's so lucky to have you guys," but really, truly, WE are the ones who are blessed. WE are the ones who have the privilege of getting to have this tiny, precious little boy in our lives.  God didn't need US to work out His plan for Jeremiah.  He would have made sure His plan for Jeremiah's life was put into action, with or without US.  If we hadn't said YES, we would have been the ones to miss out on this blessing - not Jeremiah.

I cannot WAIT to hold him.  I still cannot believe that his mother chose us.  It makes me have a new understanding of what it means that God chose me.  If THIS is how awesome it feels that a mother trusted me and chose me to raise her precious son - how much MORE awesome is it that our LORD chose ME to love me, to save me, to become His daughter, even before time began?!

I have the distinct feeling that my Father is going to teach ME far more through Jeremiah, than I could ever possibly teach Jeremiah about anything in this life.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11


The Cherry Bunch said...

This is so precious Jen. I look forward to going thru this journey with you! Thanks for sharing!

deb said...

Wow. What a beautiful story. I wish you all the best.

Thais Winzen said...

Encouraging words, my friend! I needed that.

xinme said...

As a family of 6 woven together by the miracle of open adoption, I can totally relate to ALL that you've said, Jen! And you're so right about ALL the God stuff ;)

Stumbled upon your blog via This Art That Heals . . . it's nice to "meet" you :)